Broken and spilled out


I’ve been damaged..I’m in need of serious repair….and only God can fix me. So we’ve been on a long journey…one I’ve been all to willing to ignore. Sometimes I think the weeds He’s been trying to pull aren’t so bad because their green, but really they’re not good. They’ve been crowding out HIS best for my life.

While the weeding out has been painful at times because of the deep roots, it’s okay. I know He won’t stop working until I’m completely His…sold out for Him. I’m learning to let go of my expectations for what I think life should look like. I’m ready to say yes to Him no matter what that looks like. Here’s why…..

His desire to truly change me and mold me into His image is a journey He invited me on years ago…but I’m strong-willed and independent (just ask my husband….drives him crazy I’m sure!), but God’s patience runs deeper than my attitude. So He’s waited….

He placed me in a new church 7 years ago….let me leave my successful career almost 5 years ago….but filled the void by putting a paint brush in my hand…God was cultivating me….He knew I wasn’t satisfied with things I was filling my life with….leading me to the question….what am I really supposed to be doing?

I started journaling again and adding artwork to my thoughts. I knew God wanted me to do something with it….but insecurity set in, and at just the right time, a godly woman I knew encouraged me to join the mentoring Bible study at church. That was 4 months ago….it’s all becoming clear. All these changes is leading me to Him.

God wanted my attention. He had to strip away all the things that distracted me from Him. He didn’t just want part of me, He wanted all of me! And thankfully He was willing to wait for me…to come to Him and truly seek His will for my life.

He’s shown me that true satisfaction can only come by walking deeper with Him through prayer, Bible study, and journaling. Only then has He been able to open my eyes to discovering the spiritual gifts and core values He placed in me. Once He set the foundation, it was safe for Him to take me through my good and bad past experiences. He didn’t want me to get lost in the mire of my past, instead He wanted to show me where I’ve been and who He’s created me to be for Him.

Now I’m ready…I’m in open to the dream God has placed in me…my Chazown…His vision for my life. He wants me to live my life on purpose….with purpose.

The seed He planted is taking root…at times it seems small, but I know the only way it will happen is if God comes along and makes it so…only when He gets all the credit is when we know we are living out His purpose for our lives.

Everyday I see how God wants to use this dream He planted in me….I get this overwhelming sense of joy that floods my body.

I know it’s His Spirit filling me, saying, “YES, THAT’S IT! YOU FINALLY GET IT….IT’S ALL ABOUY ME!”

Well, I’ve got a lot of work to do, but I’m up for the task, because God’s pruned me so I can bloom for Him….all for His glory. I’ve been broken so He can spill me out to share His love with others.


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